SO WHAT IF WE CAN'T SPEAK FLUENTLY LIKE THE ENGLISH, WE HAVE OUR OWN COMMON DIALECT

Tamils are always proud to be 'Tamizhs';Pretty courteous they. in the bus ('Busss') they always say 'yexuse me, saaar'- even if they ave ya yem.yay deheree. They speak yenglish but sorry, no indi(Hindi),poda! And Madras has a lot of 'Lates'(ladies) and christeens' (Christians). For tamil dames(called 'figures') em.g.yaar(MGR) and 'kamallakkaasan' are 'Romba jollu,pa'! The more common Madarasi is an ardent fan of kireeket matches. Their counterparts in Bombay think they live in America but speak Hinglish like 'are you sure ki Sujata aa raha hai ya I'll go akela!'. And they take great pride in making stupid mistakes in Hindi Grammar. The best hypocrites in the world.

Back to the 'thamizhs', they are verrry lecky to haeve simble neighbours in the keralites who are a comblex race of peoblle(they migrated around 2000 B.C. from the middle east, I guess; and even now do when the Sheik feels wary of them). but they have excellent GK and do well in kiss contests, eat a lot of chooclyte and own 99% of tea shops in the world. (Somebody said "Even if one go to the peak of Mount Everest one can find a Keralyte selling tea). Is easy to tell when is public holiday in Kerala - noone's on strike.

Not far begind the kerals is the telugu desam, who are totally againesht flaunting their wealthu to the woruldu, though they occasionally come out withu brick red shirtsu and parrot green pantsu with pleetsu('fant' with 'fleet' in Madras). Worustu,no?! But they are greatu in CICSu, Microsu and COBOLu ! Generally nice peoplesu !!!

The Canadians, excuse me, the Kannadigas are the coolest lot down south but if there is political unrest in Hersogovnia or an ebola virus outbreak in Zaire, they bash up the Tamils in Karnataka. Cau very very bad!If you go uf, you land uf in Udissa- the land of irron('r' unsilent)where sombalpuroa and Bhubaneshbara are big owns. The people are bery cordial and if you are Vikram they bill soorly ask you 'B' or 'Bhe'.They do not sout, sam or soot but occasnally bawsh their phace at the wasbashin. James Bond Mohapotra in our colleze had a roll nomber jero,jero,sebhen.

Bengalees are bery similor, but are bery proud oph Subas Chondro Bosh and Shoatyojit Roy(I used to know a director by name Satyajit Ray who was also pretty good) and everybody is 'X'da. Wonder...never mind. Bot I most confess, Roshgollas are bery goooood, tho!

And Biharees are bery phond of Laloo and Ranchi, ka isse bhadiya tumre pass kooch hai, kaa?!

UPites and MPites are busy going to ischool and istudied metals to make lots of ishteel.

Punjabis are very sweet and aggressive and offer 'Rotti Shotti Khayega!' to which I once replied 'No'. He said 'Tage itu, yaar!'By God'u! 'Surjeetu, what happenedu, woi ?!'. That's P'njab.

Sindhis are also a very affable lot but very strict. See, our sindhi principal used to say 'Out you go! you're suspaendaed!' But,frankly was the first to say 'Koong ragulations!' when we achieved something.

And Kashmir(called 'Cashmir' by many, maybe cos of the amount of cash spent to keep it in India ?!?) I know 'Roja' was shot(I mean filmed) somewhere nearby... ...To Sur bane hamaara!

--- Yenonimusu

HERE COMES THE MALLU WITH KOKANET OIL, BENANA CHIBBS AND BROGUN BONES!!

1) What is the tax on a Mallu's income called?
IngumDax

2) Where did the Malayali study?
In the ko-liage.

3) Why did the Malayali not go to ko-liage today?
He is very bissi.

4) Why did the Malayali buy an air-ticket?
To go to Thuubai, zimbly to meet his ungle in Gelff.

5) Why do Malayalis go to the Gelff?
To yearn meney.

6) What did the Malayali do when the plane caught fire?
He zimbly jembd out of the vindow.

7) How does a Malayali spell moon?
MOON - Yem, Woh, yet another Woh, and Yen

8) What is Malayali management graduate called?
Yem Bee Yae.

9) What does a Malayali do when he goes to America ?
He changes his name from Karunakaran to Kevin Curren.

10) What does a Malayali use to commute to office everyday?
An Oto

11) Where does he pray?
In a Temble, Charch and a Maask

12) Who is Bruce Lee's best friend?
A Malaya-Lee of coarse.

13) Why is industrial productivity so low in Kerala?
Because 86% of the shift time is spent on lifting, folding and re-tying the lungi

14) Why did Saddam Hussain attackKuwait?
He had a Mallu baby-sitter, who always used to say 'KEEP QUWAIT' 'KEEP QUWAIT'

15) What is the Latest Malayali Punch Line?
"Frem Tea Shops To Koll Cenders, We Are Yevery Where"


16) Why aren't Mals included in hockey and football teams?
Coz Whenever they get a corner, they set up a tea shop.

17) Now pass it on to 5 Mals to get a free sample of kokanet oil.

18) Pass it on 10 Mals to get a free pack of Benana Chibbs.

19) Pass it on to 15 Mals to get a set of BROGUN bones....