YOU CHILDREN ARE FUTURE DYNAMIC GENERATORS OF THE NATION, SO LOOK INTO THE FUTURE TIME ONLY!!

A Schoolmaster from a remote rural area in Bihar was transferred to a new School in Mumbai.

He reported for duty two days before August 15 and, as was the practice in the school, was asked to address the school assembly on Independence Day.

Here's his dynamite speech:

Leddies and Gentulmens, Contemporaries, Children,

"This is my first maiden speech. If small mistakes get inside my speech, I ask pardon.

Stickly speaking, I wanted to joint your school more fastly, but for the following reason. Too much time lost in getting slipper reservation in three-tyre compartment. The clerk rejected to give ticket. I put complaint on stationmaster. He said me to go to lady clerk. At first, she also rejected. I then pressed her for long time and, at last, with great difficulty she gave a birth only to my son. Anyway, I thanked the stationmaster because he was responsible for getting birth of my son.

We got independent because of great leadersz linke Gundhiji who get-outted all angrezi peoples from India. Tilak said Swaraj is our birth rate and we shall halve it.

Today we all have our birth-rate. You children are future dynamic generators of the Nation. Look into future time only. No backside looking, or looking at your behind.

Be like great like X' raj Ranjan of Germany or Presidents like Loosebelt, Dim Butter, Lipton etc. You know genius, no? It is one per cent perspiration and ninety seven percent evaporation.

They became great by reading great books. After we finish you off here in the school, you can go to college and get B.A., M.A., M.A.M.A and other decrease.

Then you can become great liars in the supreme courts, shattered accountants, or lecherers in college.

The school is like a garden. You are the seeds, classroom is the soil. We will bury you in this soil; pour water of knowledge on your heads and one day you all will become great phools.

Many vacancy job come in papers. Only yesterday I saw in paper "Wanted for refuted engineering firm: - Generators, highpower condensors" so and so forth, etc. These jobs may be teknickel, but you can shine.

If you have flare in English, you can become teacher.

I am now ending this fastly.

My God blast you!

Thank you and thank God!

ETHNIC JOKES, WITH NO APOLOGIES

TAMIL JOKES

Whats the opposite of Gopalakrishnan?
Comepalakrishnan.

What is the opposite of Subramnium Swamy?
Subramanium Didn't See Me.

How do they start a road race in Tamil Nadu?
Ready...Steady... PO

What do you call a really colourful Tamilian?
Rangamannar Rangarajan.

What is the Tamil name for the tallest building in Japan?
Nikkumo Nikkado (Will it or wont it stand?)

What is the difference between Kunnankudi Vaidyanathan and Gandhi?
One is a violanist, the other is a non-violanist!


MALAYALEE JOKES
What do you call an amazing Malayalee?
Pheno Menon.

What do you call a dashing Malayalee?
Debo Nair.

What do you call a Malayalee drunkard?
Kutty Sark.

Why do they require five people for a Malayalee funeral?
Four to carry the coffin and one person to carry the two-in-one.

Why did the Malayalee cross the road?
To join the trade union on the other side.


SINDHI JOKES

What do you call:
A god fearing Sindhi?
Bhagwandas Godwani

A Sindhi painter?
Sadarangani

A Sindhi chef?
Papadmull Kukreja

A Sindhi electrician?
Voltram Bijlani

A Sindhi milkman?
Gopal Dudeja

A Sindhi pest control contractor?
Khatmull Marwani

A Sindhi stripper working in New York?
Barbra Jhangiani

A Sindhi casanova?
Prem Kissinchandani

A Sindhi fire-engine?
Bhambhani

A Sindhi detergent?
Neelam Rin-dani (Rin is a Detergent)

A Sindhi postman?
Mailwani

A communist Sindhi?
Karl Lal-wani (Lal for the red communist flag)

A fashionable Sindhi?
Jogio Armani

A heroic Sindhi soldier?
Hiroo Sipahimalani

A forgetful Sindhi?
Bulo Bhulchandani

A fat Sindhi?
Hathiramani

A downtrodden Sindhi?
Nichani

A corrupt Sindhi?
Chaipani (Chai-pani is colloquial for bribe')

A Sindhi fly?
Makhija

What do you call a Sindhi with six knees?
Sahani (Shahaknee)

A Sindhi who falls from the 1st floor?
Thad-ani (Thud-ani)

A Sindhi who falls from the 10th floor?
Kriplani (Cripple-ani)

Why are a Sindhi's nostrils big?
Because air is free


MAHARASHTRIAN JOKES

What do you call a modern Maharashtrian?
Western Ghat.

What do you call a Maharashtrian tailor?
Sadashiv.

Which Maharashtrians wrote the book 'Apartheid in South Africa?'
Dhaval Gore and Krishnakant Kale.

What did Bruce Lee say to the Maharashtrian?
Tumhi Marathe, Aamhi Karate.


GUJJU JOKES

Why did the Gujjus think the man who acted as Gandhi in the film was a woman?
Because his name was Ben Kingsley.

Why does the Gujju go to London?
To see his Big Ben.

Why does the Gujju take a 2-in-1 to the bathroom?
Because his mom said that water came out of the tape (tap)

Why did the visitor to the Gujju home run away when he was offered tea?
Because the Gujju said he would serve snakes (snacks) with it.

What is a Gujju picnic called?
A snake in the grass

What did the Gujju mean when he said, Maro dikro STATES magayon?
His son failed in statistics.

Maro dikro Dubai gayo?
My son drowned.

Why was the Gujju stacking up pennies on the day before exams?
He wanted to get cent-par-cent.

What do you call a knee less gujju?
Nilesh (Pronounced Nee-Less)


BENGALI JOKES

An angry Bengali letter?
Chitti-chitti Bong Bong

A talkative Bengali?
Bulbul Chatterjee

An outlawed Bengali?
Kanoon Banerjee

An enlightened Bengali?
Jyoti Basu

A stupid Bengali girl?
Balika Buddhu

A Bengali marriage?
Bedding

A Bengali voyeur?
Keyhollo

A mad Bengali?
In Sen (insane)

A dark Bengali who lives in a cave?
Kalidas Guha

A perfumed Bengali?
Chandan Dass

A Bengali goldsmith?
Shonar Bongla

What's bigger than the Bay of Bengal?
The Bengali Ego

When does a Bengali sound like a dog?
When he says Bow (wow)
Also, when he bharks! (works).