Eccentricity thy name is English!!

...If you're studying English and it confuses you, think about the confusion it has for people who grew up speaking it:

A friend sent an email forward that lists out the ecentricities of English language. Read it and have a ball.

* If pro and con are opposites, is congress the opposite of progress?

* There is no egg in eggplant, no pine or apple in pineapple, and no ham in hamburger

* English muffins weren't invented in England or French Fries in France.

* Sweet meats are candy, while sweetbreads, which aren't, are meat.

* Exploring its paradoxes, we find that quick sand works slowly, boxing rings are square, public bathrooms have no bath, and a guinea pig is neither a pig nor from Guinea.

* Why is it that as writer writes, but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce, humdingers don't hum and hammers don't ham?

* If the plural of tooth is teeth, shouldn't the plural of booth be beeth?

* One goose, two geese -- so one moose, two meese?

* One index, two indices -- one Kleenex, two Kleenices?

* If you have a bunch of odds and ends and you get rid of all but one, what do you call it?

* If the teacher taught, why isn't it true that the preacher praught?

* If a horsehair mat is made from the hair of horses and a camel's-hair coat is made from the hair of camels, from what is a mohair coat made?

* If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?

* In what other language do people drive on a parkway and park in a driveway? Recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell?

* How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?

* How can it be hot as hell one day, and cold as hell the next?

* Have you ever seen a horsefull carriage or a strapfull gown?

* A house can burn up as it burns down. You can fill out a form by filling it in. Your alarm clock goes off by going on. When the stars are out they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible. When I wind my watch I start it, but when I wind up this message, I end it.