Ads gone terribly wrong!!

* Wanted. Widower with school-age children requires person to assume general housekeeping duties. Must be capable of contributing to growth of family.

* Wanted: 50 girls for stripping machine operators in factory.

* Wanted: Unmarried girls to pick fresh fruit and produce at night.

* For Sale -- Eight puppies from a German Sheppard and an Alaskan Hussy.

* Great Dames for sale.

* Have several very old dresses from grandmother in beautiful condition.

* Vacation Special: have your home exterminated.

* Mt. Kilimanjaro, the breathtaking backdrop for the Serena Lodge. Swim in the lovely pool while you drink it all in.

* Get rid of aunts: Zap does the job in 24 hours.

* Stock up and save. Limit: one.

* For Rent: 6-room hated apartment.

* Man, honest. Will take anything.

* Wanted: chambermaid in rectory. Love in, $200 a month. References required.

* Man wanted to work in dynamite factory. Must be willing to travel.

* UsedCars: Why go elsewhere to be cheated? Come here first!

* Christmans tag-sale. Handmade gifts for the hard-to-find person.

* Christmans tag-sale. Handmade gifts for the hard-to-find person.

* Wanted: Hair-cutter. Excellent growth potential.

* Wanted. Man to take care of cow that does not smoke or drink.

* 3-year-old teacher need for pre-school. Experience preferred.

* Our experienced Mom will care of your child. Fenced yard, meals, and smacks included.

* Our bikinis are exciting. They are simply the tops.

* Auto Repair Service. Free pick-up and delivery. Try us once, you'll never go anywhere again.

* Illiterate? Write today for free help.

* Girl wanted to assist magician in cutting-off-head illusion. Blue Cross and salary.

* We will oil your sewing machine and adjust tension in your home for $1.00.

* 2 female Boston Terrier puppies, 7 wks old, Perfect markings, 555-1234. Leave mess.

* Lost: small apricot poodle. Reward. Neutered. Like one of the family.

* A superb and inexpensive restaurant. Fine food expertly served by waitresses in appetizing forms.

* For sale: an antique desk suitable for lady with thick legs and large drawers.

* Four-poster bed, 101 years old. Perfect for antique lover.

* Now is your chance to have your ears pierced and get an extra pair to take home, too.