Instructions on consumers goods

Some examples of why the human race has probably evolved as far as possible. These are actual instruction labels on consumer goods...

On Sears hairdryer
Do not use while sleeping.
(Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair!)

On a bag of Fritos
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(The shoplifter special!)

On a bar of Dial soap
Directions: Use like regular soap.
(and that would be how?)

On some Swann frozen dinners
Serving suggestion: Defrost.
(But it's 'just' a suggestion!)

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert
(printed on bottom of the box) Do not turn upside down.
(Too late! you lose!)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding
Product will be hot after heating.
(Are you sure? Let's experiment.)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron
Do not iron clothes on body.
(But wouldn't that save more time?) (Whose body?)

On Boot's Children's cough medicine
Do not drive car or operate machinery.
(We could do a lot to reduce the construction accidents if we just kept those 5 year olds off those fork lifts.)

On Nytol sleep aid
Warning: may cause drowsiness.
(One would hope!)

On a Korean kitchen knife
Warning: keep out of children.
(hmm...something must have gotten lost in the translation...)

On a string of Christmas lights
For indoor or outdoor use only.
(As opposed to use in outer space.)

On a food processor
Not to be used for the other use.
(Now I'm curious.)

On Sainsbury's peanuts
Warning: contains nuts.
(but no peas?)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts
Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.
(somebody got paid big bucks to write this one...)

On a Swedish chainsaw
Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.
(Raise your hand if you've tried this...)

On a child's Superman costume
Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.
(Oh go ahead! That's right, destroy a universal childhood belief.)